The Subway Ghost (undone... may never be)

hi. i have a story. well, it's not a story, it's REAL, and it will FREAK you out. you will freak... maybe even so much, that you finally understand what Rick James was talking about.

it was a dark day. one of those days that makes you want to "fall" off a bridge. sorry i lie. HA. it was actually a nice day. i just said that for effect. drama. i mean, everyone else does it. why can't i?... i can. so, so i did. did you like it? i may do that again. watch for it.

yeah, where was i? oh, that day. right. so, nice day, didn't wanna kill self. ok

it was a nice day. one of those autumn days where it was crisp. the sun was out and i wanted a latte. see, i like lattes. don't ask me why, i just do. *sidenote - i'm not a snob*
there is this excellent little cafe downtown Toronto called Zoe's Bakery Cafe. they makea great latte, and since it was such a nice day, i decided to go there.

BUT... i had to take the subway...
which i like! so that was good. (see? i did it again. you thought it was negative. a neg. but it was not. back to the story.)
so there i am, deadless and latteless. one, i WANT. the other, enh, take or leave. i'll probly leave though. um, not like, leave this world, but leave it somewhere else... and not take. whatever.
I WANT A LATTE AND NOT DEATH!!! there? got it? it's kinda confusing.

so i hop on the subway. i like to call the subway, The Rollercoaster. the tracks look like one. people wait for it. some are anxious. then it pulls up. people get off. people get on. everyone takes a seat. some even hold onto the metal bar. and everyone paid.
that day, the subway was full. no seats left. ther was standing room only. kinda like a special event of some sort. so i guess the subway is like a rollercoaster and a special event of some sort. maybe a concert... or a hot dog eating contest. maybe i will start calling the subway, The Hotdog.

i had to stand for a long time. i don't really enjoy standing. it's odd. why stand? SIT. it's what the popular kids are doing. they sit. i've seen them doing it.
but i'm standing. untill, a seat is available. someone got up from their seat and got off. they got up and off. just after i saw the free seat, my eyes met with another person's eyes. they, were also standing. i could tell they wanted that seat. they wanted to be COOL, just as i did.
we stared each other down. i don't mean like, lookin' at each other. i mean, DOWN!! it was a fight. a battle ROYALE!! it was gettin' crazy all up in here... but was still down. it was gettin' crazy all up and down in here... there. cuz this is mostly a past tense story... but sometimes now tense, like now.

i think i wanted to be be cool more. i wanted it more. he did not want it more than me. than i. it's as if he wanted it less.
i love cool. love it. i could put it between two peices of bread and make a sandwich out of it. a cool sandwich. and i would eat it up. or maybe take it to Orange Julias and ask them to add it to a smoothie for me. i would drink it. my mango/cool smoothie.
i wanted that seat. because i almost hate standing.
so i ran! i ran as fast as i could. the other person i think, anticipated me running, and ran also. this person was fast. i mean, fast as in, not like slow. AT ALL.
but since the seat was only 4ft away from me, i got there first.

have you ever ran at top speed, 4ft? don't. i realised that maybe i wanted to be cool, less than i wanted that other person NOT to be cool. my hatred forthat other person's possibility of being cool was almost my downfall. as i not literally flew past that cool-infested seat, this sound came out of me. it went like this,
"ENNNNH!!!"
my arm reached behind me as if to grab hold of something. but there was nothing there that i was grabbing at. my head went back as i tried to turn my body back around towards my starting position. i was now 5 feet past the chair... further from cool ever it seemed. my head kept saying "I ALMOST HATE STANDING!" I WAS UNWILLING TO GIVE UP.
because of the oddly familiar position i was in, which is another story, i fell. my arm still stretched out towards the seat, i scrambled to get 5 feet back to it. i was guessing the other person was close behind me. i did not want to give it up. i crawled forward untill i could grab the seat. i managed to pull myself up onto it.
that's when i noticed the other person. they looked sad. forlorn. almost, depressed. they must have been striving after cool for a looong time. i wanted to console this person. i felt what they felt. THE PAIN! oh, it hurts.
i remember.
the quietness of uncoolness is deep. it cuts. it cuts deep. the sad look on that person's face hurt me. i started to make that same sad face. my desire to console this person made me even sadder, because, when a stranger helps a stranger, it is only done out of deep empathy and emotion.
so i spoke out!
right there on that subway. the words, they just came out. they came out with a force similar to that of a punch in the face. i couldn't stop them. words that, deep inside, past the exterior shell, had empathy. empathy and meaning and emotion.
the words were,

"SUCKA!! I'M cool now! This is MY hotdog seat BEEATCH!!"

The Turtle with no Shell

Terry is a turtle. Terry has no shell. Terry is very cold. Terry told me that he likes your sweater. Terry would like to have it.
Are you going to give it to him? Are you going to let Terry stay cold? Are you so heartless? Are you the kind person that doesn't use their brain? ARE YOU STUPID???
Terry thinks you are. Terry talks about you behind your back.